BEATTY AND HAITI
The number of the female conquests made by Warren Beatty
is said to be twelve thousand, seven hundred seventy five,
a number that’s far smaller than the earthquake deaths in Haiti,
and all of Beatty’s victims still probably are alive.
They say that God’s behind the movement of the earth in quakes,
megadeaths to Him a concept that is hardly foreign,
but Beatty’s conquests find that sex with him is all it takes
to make them feel the earth has moved, and cry out loud: “Oh Warren!”
Many thousand victims does not seem for God to be
a number that’s unreasonable, and everyone’s his fan.
Warren’s number is more reasonable and his esprit
does less harm to the corps for whom he is the triggerman
On the same day that Pooja Bhatia, a fellow at the Institute of Current World Affairs, writes an Op-Ed in the NYT on the earthquake in Haiti, explaining that many Haitians blame God for the earthquake Stephen M. Silverman reports in People.com, January 3, 2010
Warren Beatty's legendary gold crown for womanizing is about to get some added polish, with this week's publication of Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America – though the 72-year-old star has already issued a statement though his attorney to refute the book's claims. "Using simple arithmetic," author Peter Biskind calculates, according to New York Post, Beatty bedded "12,775 women, give or take, a figure that does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on." But in a statement to the Huffington Post, Beatty's attorney, Bertram Fields, denies that the book – which the Post reported was authorized – was, in fact, sanctioned by the actor. "Mr. Biskind's tedious and boring book on Mr. Beatty was not authorized by Mr. Beatty and should not be published as an authorized biography," according to the attorney. "It contains many false assertions and purportedly quotes Mr. Beatty as saying things he never said. Other media should not repeat things from the book on the assumption that they are true or that the book is an authorized biography." Among Beatty's conquests, Biskind writes, the Bonnie and Clyde, Heaven Can Wait and Reds star-producer can claim Jane Fonda (who at first thought her costar was gay), Joan Collins (whom he exhausted), Leslie Caron, Isabelle Adjani, Julie Christie, Diane Keaton, Madonna and, of course, the actress Beatty married in 1992, Annette Bening.
Patrick Goldstein reports in the LA Times, January 14, 2010 (“The story behind the bio”):
When I pressed him about whether it (12,775) was an invented number, he responded: “Warren did say to someone else that he couldn’t get to sleep at night without having sex with someone, so I just added up the days. It didn’t seem an unreasonable figure.”
Commenting on the earthquake in Haiti the Op-Ed Cited above Pooja Bhatia writes:
FOR most of the past 20 hours I’ve been hiking the earthquake-rubbled streets of Port-au-Prince. Tuesday night, when we had less idea of the scope of the devastation, there was singing all over town: songs with lyrics like “O Lord, keep me close to you” and “Forgive me, Jesus.” Preachers stood atop boxes and gave impromptu sermons, reassuring their listeners in the dark: “It seems like the Good Lord is hiding, but he’s here. He’s always here.” The day after, as the sun exposed bodies strewn everywhere, and every fourth building seemed to have fallen, Haitians were still praying in the streets. But mostly they were weeping, trying to find friends and family, searching in vain for relief and walking around in shock. If God exists, he’s really got it in for Haiti. Haitians think so, too. Zed, a housekeeper in my apartment complex, said God was angry at sinners around the world, but especially in Haiti. Zed said the quake had fortified her faith, and that she understood it as divine retribution….
Why, then, turn to a God who seems to be absent at best and vindictive at worst? Haitians don’t have other options. The country has a long legacy of repression and exploitation; international peacekeepers come and go; the earth no longer provides food; jobs almost don’t exist. Perhaps a God who hides is better than nothing.
© 2010 Gershon Hepner 1/14/10