mr. ahmadinejad

Mr. Ahmajinedad,
world leader with the creepiest smile,
did not count each hanging chad,
and therefore doesn’t hear Sieg Heil
as often as the Great Dictator,
who, like him, knew how to beguile
masses, though he used a greater
shtick, and had a lot more style,
despite pomposities Wagnerian,
considerably more versatile,
though just pompously an Aryan,
appearing far less puerile
encouraging smart uniforms,
and Mädchen, who though they were vile,
would adulate in sensuous swarms
their hero, and in single file
march to his orders. Ahmajin-
edad has less success, but while
he’s more opposed to sex and sin
there’s no way to bring him to trial.

Inspired by Clyde Haberman's description of Mahmoud Ahmajineda as "not exactly a beacon for democracy" and "front-runner for the title of world leader with the creepiest smile" ("In the 7th Inning, Stretch, Sure, but Don't Move," NYT, July 10, 2009):
Consider a pronouncement this week by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian president and front-runner for the title of world leader with the creepiest smile. Mr. Ahmadinejad is not exactly a beacon of democracy. But even he seems to understand that using the police to enforce cultural values is probably not a good idea. “Cultural issues should be dealt through cultural channels, and I am against security confrontations,” he said. Wouldn’t you know that New York City, its Police Department and the New York Yankees find themselves in sync with him? The police, they all agree, have no business enforcing cultural values. To be more specific, they have no business stopping anyone who wishes to wander around while a certain Irving Berlin song is being played. The song is “God Bless America.” It is played — usually in the Kate Smith version — at every Yankee home game during the seventh inning. All baseball teams performed this ritual after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. But before long, most stopped routinely doing so. How many times in a single game is it necessary to assert one’s patriotism? Isn’t the pregame “Star-Spangled Banner” enough?

© 2009 Gershon Hepner 7/10/09